Sobriety Can’t Save an Alcoholic Marriage

It took time but I began to speak out about our struggles, about the violence, and about the strained state of our relationship. With each week I got stronger, and the stronger I got, the further I found myself from him. The stronger I got, the less I wanted him.

marriage after sobriety

Watch for signs of backsliding into unhealthy ways, including placing blame and verbal abuse. Both of you need to learn how to release stress and divert tension while maintaining trust and open communication. If you want to be supportive of your partner’s long-term recovery, you must build healthy boundaries and know when to refrain from conflicts. When one partner is an active addict, a healthy marriage or relationship is virtually impossible. Addiction shatters some of the most important components of a strong marriage, including trust, intimacy, and communication. Living with an alcoholic or drug addict also means the addiction will come first for your spouse, even before the marriage. The non-addict spouse may have high expectations for long-missed intimacy and be disappointed when it doesn’t materialize.

Should two recovering addicts date?

Tulip Hill is a family-owned rehabilitation center near in Murfreesboro, TN with first-hand experience in addiction recovery. We believe a dual diagnosis approach that treats the mental health conditions underlying addiction is the best route to long-term sobriety.

marriage after sobriety

We would save our marriage because he was getting sober. We would save our marriage because he finally had a desire to save himself. If a man marries a woman because he was attracted by her warm maternal quality, as many alcoholics do, he is likely to be the dependent one.

Recent Issues

Or you might have drifted apart while you’ve been drinking so you need to reignite your relationship. Most marriages have some common patterns and habits that can make or marriage changes after sobriety break the relationship. If you were to get back together, for it to work, it would need to come after time and space and spiritual, emotional growth for both of you.

Many treatments for individuals who have a problem with alcohol and other drugs will include the partner in some way. Research has shown that involving partners in the treatment at some point can be very important in helping the treatment succeed. It is also very important that the problems in the relationship be treated; these problems do not go away because the drinking or drug use has stopped.

Put Your Feelings in Writing

The staff was caring, professional, and knowledgeable. I came in hopeless and left hopeful, with a treasure chest full of “good” coping tools. My life is now mine to live without the burden of alcohol. At Casa Palmera, I received the best care available. I went to Casa Palmera on their reputation.

However, the good news is that it is possible to rebuild trust in relationships after rehab. We have a board-certified addiction psychiatrist on staff, Dr. Balta, to treat the medical issues related to addiction.

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We had to revive the terror before we could see a hopeful future. I had to apologize again—with the promise of permanent sobriety this time—before Sheri could figure out how to forgive. The survival of our marriage lived in that forgiveness.

marriage after sobriety

It was early 2015 when I told him I loved him, I would always love him, but I was no longer in love with him. It was early 2015 when I told him I wanted a divorce. When he’s drunk, her reaction is to reproach him for his behavior, and that’s the very worst time to attempt to communicate with him. In fact it can’t be done without triggering a family war. The depth and intensity of psychotherapy helps to expand the layer of true intimacy . Not only does the intense personal sharing help to break down the barrier to intimacy, but both therapy and the 12-Step work help to reduce denial and thus shrink the layer of the unknown.

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